What do you do when even McDonalds won't hire you?

So we're all familiar with the newbie's job experience paradox - can't get the job to get experience because we can't get experience to get the job - and even with various bouts of voluntary work, they just somehow don't seem to help you either.

I'm precisely two months away from starting the third year of my degree and I haven't been hired for anything - and I mean... anything. I got my A levels straight after finishing school and then proceeded onto university like they advise you to do and so at the age of 20 the only experience I have is how to listen, take notes, and with a bit of brain juice, regurgitate the ever-so fascinating wonders of the American dream, postmodernism and narrative techniques in a whole host of books that arguably, most people have either read because like me, they're literature students or have read them because the rest of humanity seems to have read a page of (insert classic title here) - and given up. So it's a little disheartening when summer comes around and everyone I know appears to be working the summer months away, steadily saving up those pennies to blow on alcohol and overly-greasy kebabs in the next 10 or so months - and I, like everyone else, has distributed countless CVs to nearly every establishment out there for quite literally the last 4 years and still fail to get results. And yes, I have applied to McDonalds multiple times and do not satisfy the curriculum of asking "what can I get you" whilst apparently seeming gormless in all other aspects of life itself.

On my previous post I mentioned I was thinking about my career options and not really knowing which route to take. I can happily say I've at least sorted that little nugget out after looking at what I am naturally comfortable doing... and you're looking at it. I can rant when I want to, but I can also be unbiased too. I've spent the last 4 years writing essays to argue both sides of an opinion and feel like I'd be best suited to an opinion writer role. However, I also edit any piece of writing that is put in front of me and automatically correct errors - I just need to learn to do this with my own words and I'd be good to go in starting up my own business! - but until then, I'd much appreciate an entry job into the industry. Preferably starting next July after I have graduated, but before the panic about life after education sets in...

However, the paradox points out one tinsy (but actually massive) flaw. Unless you inherit money or win the lottery, after 3 years at university with quite the hefty debt to our names, having not had a job (ever) increases the financial woes of someone who would enthusiastically relocate for their career as soon as they've taken off that cap and gown! This is my very own issue. I know full well that a career in editing and publishing will require my relocating from the not-so-sunny-or-prospective town of Scunthorpe, into a city - preferably London - and I would do so as soon as the opportunity arose, so long as I wouldn't be homeless whilst doing it. For the time being, I'd happy work for a smaller company to start my path but again, it's getting that foot in the door that appears to be the issue.

My advice: In some cases, if you're just desperate to get money and not so bothered about building a specific career it's best to just look at what comes naturally to you. For example, if you enjoy spending weeks on end playing video games, become a games tester. If you like eating food, become a food critic. There is no point applying for jobs that you're clearly not interested in and the company can tell you're only there to get your hands on their money - unless you're happy to stick to it of course. They want people to care about the work and if you don't, they'll have at least another 20 applications of people that have always wanted to stock shelves or pull a pint while you see that as a "little"job.

My personal next steps are to apply for work experience in every publishing establishment that will listen. Sure, like everyone else I'd like to have one of those "jobs just to get by" and save money, but the fact and the matter is, they know I'll be moving on to bigger things pretty soon (hopefully!) and I wouldn't be studying for a degree if my career plan involved being a store assistant at Asda for the rest of my days but right now, getting an employer's attention is the main priority!

So when all the possible means of attack have been explored and it quite honestly feels like you're attempting - and failing - to swim upstream of the employment river, what do you do? Is it finally acceptable and time to shout from the rooftops "Someone, anyone, please just hire me!?" - apparently not, but it would be effective in releasing some of that frustration I'm sure! Or alternatively look to Adam Pacitti for inspiration. It took guts but I can understand his thinking behind it completely!

*I would like to disclaim here that I do not have anything against McDonalds, Asda or the people they employ, they're purely just the lucky establishments chosen to prove my point*